Sunday, December 09, 2007

Tears of Joy

Where does the time go? Sometimes lately I feel like I am in warp speed. Days and weeks go by and I don't remember what I have done or where the time has gone. Scary!

I continue to remind myself and focus each day on all the good that is in my life. I admit I am often still rattled by Quinn's "heart healing". I have wonderful positive days where all the world is a-light with the glory of living and God's grace. I have other days where I can barely move to get out of my own way, weighted down with thought.

I can't imagine how I would be handling this without the constant reminder of Surrender. Just let it go...let it be...allow God...accept what is...go with the flow....God is in charge....you have angels and Quinn has angels and Molly has angels.

Yesterday I was thinking hard about Quinn and all he has been through....I admit I was feeling sorry for him and myself. Why did this have to happen? What does it all mean? What will he do? Will he be OK? You get the point? I was driving in my car as all of these thoughts raced through my head. And wouldn't you know the next song on the radio is....drum beat...."You Ain"t Seen Nothing Like the Mighty Quinn". I had to pull into a gas station and cry for a bit. Tears of joy!

Friday, November 16, 2007

An Angel Named Keturah

Around 15 years ago I picked up a book called "Angel Speak". In the book it suggests you ask your guardian angel its name. I was intrigued by this and sat down and did the meditation. As I did the meditation the name Keturah came to my mind. I immediately felt this was the name of my guardian angel and I started speaking to her. I used the name for my password on many computers and I named a design company after her..Keturah Designs...I made jewlery and sold it.

This was all well before the internet...one day a few years ago...I decided to see if I could find an origin to this unusual name. I spelled it Katura...and would always come away with Japanese stuff...and then one day...I must have spelled it differently and I about fell off the chair I was sitting on...this is what I found.

In the Book of Genesis, Keturah or Ketura (Hebrew: קְטוּרָה, Standard Qətura Tiberian Qəṭûrāh ; "Incense") is the woman whom Abraham marries after the death of Sarah. She bears him six sons, Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah.
She is styled "Abraham's concubine" (1 Chr. 1:32). Abraham married her probably after Sarah's death (Gen. 25:1-6). He also sent the sons he had by Keturah to live in the east far from his son Isaac. Rabbinic lore (midrash) holds that Keturah is identical with Hagar

I still consider her my guardian...maybe not an angel...but with me none the less...and teaching and guiding me.

Soooo...my son had a heart attack on Ocotber 9, 2007....and I called on God and all the angels to be with him. Many miracles occured on that day. He had emergency angioplasty and a stent put into his main artery and was placed in Cardiac Intensive Care. That night I slept in the waiting room for the CICU...a few blankets and some chairs became my bed for the night...or at least a place to rest my head. Around 7 or so the next morning...after being awake most of the night, I went to see how Quinn was doing. He was doing well, tired and upset, but hanging in there physically. I sat down in the chair in the room and my eyes gazed upon the wall where there was a white-board. On the white board it gave the date, and the names of his doctor, nurse and assistant nurse. My eyes flew open as I saw the name Keturah as the name of his assistant nurse. How could this be? I had never heard someone with that name in my life. I had never heard it used before. Even most people who know the bible don't remember the name Keturah...but there it was...a 'sign' that she was with us...watching over my son.

Later that afternoon I took Keturah (the nursing assistant) aside and told her how her name had brought an amazing sign to me from my guardian angel named Keturah. Her eyes misted over with tears and she was very touched by the story. Keturah looked at me and said, "Do you know what the name means? Do you know who Keturah was?" I told her I knew exactly who she was. Keturah smiled and again her eyes filled up with tears as she told me how touched she was to be used by God in such an amazing way.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Floating downstream

Over the course of the past few weeks, I have come here to write on the blog. But each time I did, my emotions took over, and what I wrote was not from the place of Surrender. It was coming from the heart of a mother whose heart and mind were still in the place of fear. I want very much to chronicle the many miracles and beautiful moments of the past month, for there have been many. I have found my place of peace. I am Surrendered. What a journey it has been. I also feel that Quinn deserves privacy and not his whole life spilled over a blog, and I am going to respect that and tell my story rather than his.

Quinn is doing well and "on the mend". It will be awhile before he feels the way he did before the heart attack and he may never feel exactly the same. He is forever changed.

Today I want to start sharing the many small miracles that I was a witness to during this event.

Where was I mentally when this all happened? The weekend before his heart attack was Columbus Day weekend. It was absolutely spectacular weather wise here in new england. My sister Patti http://www.pattisinclair.com/ had held a weekend retreat at an amazing home that our two husbands built in 2000-2002 http://www.roughlandfarm.com/. We are married to two brothers!!!!

On Sunday night after the retreat was over, Patti invited many friends and family over to celebrate her oldest childs' sixteenth birthday. Quinn and his girlfriend Kelly came over to help celebrate. He looked fabulous, glowing, smiling and ready to complete the last week of his 22 week course at the police academy. A special friend of my sisters who had been at the retreat stayed to share the festivities. She met Quinn for the first time and although I was not in the room when they met, she told me later she put his face in her hands and told him how handsome he was. She told him how she prayed for him while he was deployed.

Later on that same evening Quinn's girlfriends mother and stepfather and sister also came over to see this spectacular estate. Quinn worked in the building of it doing "slave labor" when he was in highschool and he wanted to share it with them. We all had a fun time sharing the night and the gift of our family and friends together. I was SO content. Really content. Glowing myself.

The next morning, Monday, I went over to the house again to swim in the pool and enjoy the sauna and hot tub. I remember clearly swimming in the pool as the glorious autumn sun gleamed in on me and the leaves outside shown in their amazing brilliant colors. I spoke outloud to my sister that "I have not felt this content and happy in years". For me, I felt that life, just around the corner, was finally going to give me peace. Life does not give you peace. It must always come from within and not from outward circumstances. This is THE message. For my outward world was soon to change dramatically.

On Tuesday morning I was reading e-mails and getting ready for work. I had just recently reunited with an old friend after 33 years. We had been e-mailing back and forth for a few days. That morning I had recieved an email from him telling me much about his life for the past 33 years. I again was content and filled with wonder at how much fun the Universe holds, and then the phone rang. It was 2:14 10/9/07. It was Midstate Memorial Hospital in Meridan Connectictut. The phone showed that it was an "out of area" call and I thought twice about answering it. The phone call was to tell me that they had Quinn with them and he was being transported to Hartford Hospital. I was still quite calm and not fully understanding what was going on. I thought he must have injured himself at the police academy and needed further treatment. It was when I asked them how long the ambulance was going to take to get him from Midstate to Hartford that the reality hit. It was then they told me he was "in the middle of a major cardiac event" and was being taken by LifeStar Helicopter. There are no words to express how I felt upon hearing this. I basically dropped the phone and started running for the car. Every person I tried to call did not answer their phone. I was shaking and screaming out to God for help. I live over an hour and a half from Hartford and wanted to just fly there. I finally reached my parents and in 30 seconds asked them to get to Hartford Hospital ASAP. In the mean time Quinn had actually called Kelly and had spoken with her. He remained awake and talking through the entire event.

I still did not know that she (Kelly) knew and I just started driving to Hartford. When I reached Norfolk I planned on stopping at Quinn's house to try and find Kelly. When I rounded the corner near their home I saw my brother-in-law and sister-in-law pulled over on the side of the road waiting for me. They told me Kelly was in another town and where I could meet her. It was all so very sureal. On the ride to the next town, I repeatedly tried to reach Quinn's dad. I did not know his phone number and numerous attempts with the phone company did not yield much. I recieved a call from my sister telling me that her husband Michael was right behind me on the road and he was going to drive me and Kelly once we reached the next town. No one thought I was fit to drive. I wonder why?

It was absolutely the longest car ride of my life. But here is one of the miracles. Our friend Marie, the one who Quinn met for the first time on Sunday and who told him how handsome he is, well she is a Rieki volunteer at Hartford Hospital and she just happens to work on Tuesdays. Hmmmm!! She also always turns her cell phone off while she is working, but on this day she had it on.

Marie speaking now: Everytime I hear the whirl of the LifeStar Helicopter I pause and pray for the person inside and for their family. I send them love and Rieki energy.

Marie heard Lifestar and paused and did her thing and minutes later she recieved a call from my sister telling her Quinn was on his way to Hartford by LifeStar. Maries answer was that it had just landed. For Marie it was beyond her comprehension to believe that the person she had just prayed for and sent loving energy to was the handsome, glowing man she had met two days before. What an angel she was/is.

I continued on the long drive and now recieved a call from my sister telling me that Marie was there. That LifeStar had landed. That Marie was standing outside the operating room holding the space for Quinn. This still makes be so very emotional and filled with gratitude.

I really had no clue what was going on with Quinn. I knew it was his heart, but had no idea what acutally was wrong. No where in my mind was I thinking heart attack. When I was about 15 minutes from the hospital I was able to speak with a nurse who was with Quinn. She told me he was still in surgery and had just had a stent put in and had had a 100% blockage to his main artery. Holy mother of God! She told me he was doing well and where to go when I got to the hospital.

When I arrived in the Cath Lab I was met by my parents and Marie. Just to finally be there took a weight off my shoulders. I was also in constant contact with my daughter Molly who had just moved to Portland, Maine and she told me that psychically she was with Quinn in the helicopter and was still with him.

God was good to us that day. Quinn was strong and couragous and held on. I am forever grateful for the miracles of that day. For the people that work in the healthfield and saved his life. For the caring nurses and caregivers. For my family. For Quinn.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The heart heals all wounds


Quinn continues to heal and is doing well. He told me yesterday that his energy level is par with before the "heart healing" and the only thing that is bothering him is his stomach. I'm sure that has to do with the medications he is on.



He will graduate from the Connecticut Police Academy tonight and I will cherish it more than anyone can imagine. I will post a photo of him in his uniform as soon as possible.



I have been so grateful for the gift of Surrender. It has helped me in a most profound way. Although I've had some "moments" during the past 2 weeks, I was also able to gather my knowledge and faith and feel confident in a perfect outcome. I look forward to posting many miracles as he continues to heal his heart.



For me....hearts have been everywhere. My morning yogi teas have had messages about the heart for the past few days. Songs on the radio have been about hearts. Of course I am aware that my eyes and ears are open to recieving messages about the heart and I am thankful each time I get one.



I have a new found respect for this amazing organ that sustains the life-blood within us. How amazing it was to watch Quinn's heart on the echocardiagram. Even though it had sustained injury...there is was continuing to beat and beat and beat. The beating heart is truly miraculous.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Life is Good

All I know for sure is that prayers have been answered and I know more miracles are on the way.


Quinn's life has been saved on many different occasions. He would disregard this (maybe not anymore).

When he was in Afghanistan his 5 man scout team were in the mountains searching for insurgents. They were going up a steep embankment when Quinn fell and hurt his ankle. The team had to proceed down a different path. When they got back to base they found out that another reconnaissance team had found a huge ambush at the top of the mountain (where they were going before he fell). I believe an angel watching over him gave him a little push to save his life and the life of his team.


He also fell 50 feet out of a helicopter. No parachute. Scraped elbow.


Hypothermia in Alaska while training to be a ranger. Went unconscious while hiking in 20 below weather. Taken by ambulance and his core body temp was 92 degrees. That was not a fun phone call either.

Then in Iraq he survived a humvee rollover with only a broken sternum. And now this. I have told him I am placing him behind a white picket fence to live the rest of his life in peace and safety.

Quinn was released from the hospital this afternoon. They still do not know why this happened and we may never know. What they do know is that it was not about his diet, or cholesterol or most of the things you think of when someone has a heart attack. The future looks bright for him. His heart is already returning some of the function and I expect nothing less than a full recovery. He will be on some medications for the rest of his life (he is so young who knows what the future will hold in medicine). He does have a stent in his main artery and he will be on blood thinners (aspirin and plavixs) for the future. Hopefully the strong blood thinner coumadin will be for only a short time.

He has no restrictions on his diet and can walk 1 1/2 miles each day (this week). More next week. I'm sure he will be running in the 5 mile Norfolk Memorial Day race next year God willing. He was a track star in high school running the 4 by 4 and the 400 meter. He is fast.

My own heart could not be more filled with love for this child who has experienced so much, with such grace, in his young life.

October 15

My love and thanks to all of you for your prayers for my son Quinn.

I wanted to update you on Quinn and tell you the status of future S.O.S's for now.

Quinn is doing great. He had a massive heart attack whose cause is presently unknown.

He is up and about and waiting for medications to be in the proper amounts before release from the hospital, which may be on Tuesday or Wednesday. The hospital is leaving no stones unturned in trying to find the reason for his MI. I now refer to it as his "healing heart".

It has been a long few days, but his smiles and determination to fight, have proved miraculous. He will be on stage at the graduation from the Connecticut Police Academy next week and no mother will be prouder than I will be on that day.

According to the doctors, he is lucky to be alive. You and I know that luck had nothing to do with it. He is being watched over by angels and the Infinite Source of ALL WELLNESS-God.

I started a blog this summer and will keep an update there in the future and more of the intimate and miraculous events of this journey www.isurrenderthis.blogspot.com

I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. They have lifted me up and held me in the comfort and care of the angels.

Please continue to pray with me as Quinn/and God heal his heart. We are asking for the miraculous and expect nothing less. If you are a healer you can focus on the bottom of his heart and that ALL clots forever more disolve with no injury.

Quinn is healed.
Quinn is pure love.
Quinn is held in the hand of God.

I reflect on the SOS I sent out on Tuesday and it gives me comfort. I stand firm as I Surrender all outcomes into the hand of God.

SOS's may come or they may not. I am not in the most rested state to write and I want to concentrate on Quinn. In the future you may get one on one day and not on the next. I hope you all understand.

You have made this journey easier and I thank each of you.

I am blessed,
Lisa

Oh the joy of Surrender.

The powerful act of letting go leads to a peaceful mind.

With a peace-filled mind we are able to live in the present.

We are able to see the beauty and love that surrounds us.

We are one with the Universal thought process.

And in that Oneness all things are possible such as the HEALING OF A HEART.

Thus the joy.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Life is more amazing than ever

On the afternoon of October 9th my 23 year old son had a massive heart attack. He had a blood clot causing 100% blockage to his LAD artery. This is the main artery supplying 40% of the blood to his heart. This type of heart attack is often termed the widow maker because sudden death is often the outcome.

I thank God each moment that this was not the case for my son. He had emergency angioplasty and a stent put into the artery. He is still in the hospital at this point waiting for the proper levels of coumadin to take place.

There have been so many signs from above that show me he will do well and recover. The angels have watched over him in the most incredible way. I thank them all.

I will do more posting soon, but for the next few days I just want to be there to support him in the hospital.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Life continues to amaze me

What a splendid world we live in. I am amazed each day at the beauty and wonder that this world holds. Life is good!! Life is easy! Life brings a smile to my face.

This past weekend I attended my 30 year high school reunion. What a blast we had. We laughed all day and all night just like in our youth. I am still smiling.

I have decided to begin this process again. Would you care to join me? www.isurrenderthis.com
I would love to have a buddy.

Monday, September 24, 2007

OK...I Surrender

More giggles and amusement at myself. Darn, life is filled with so much that can lead us upstream and against the current. These past few months have been rather dis-connected for me...I have been dis-located...lost from my source....although still held and cared for.

It is like the old "which comes first, the chicken or the egg?" Has my struggle been because I have been on this path of change? Is is because I am not Surrendered? I am trying too hard? Doing too much? Using my paddles to swim against the current rather than with the current?

Life on Easy Street has taught me much. Easy Street is another form of Surrender....it is that place of ease and little effort...it is truly aligning with Spirit....truly being in the state of Surrender.

Do the leaves 'struggle' to change into their autumn splendor? Does the ocean 'struggle' to make waves? Does the moon 'struggle' in its glorious effort to illumine the night? I don't think so. So why should struggle be such a part of the human experience? I say it does not have to be. We are creating the struggle for no apparent reason other than it has become a way of life. It is an accepted belief by our culture.

Push, push, what are we all pushing for? A better life? More money? What about our life now in this moment. Isn't it a blessing if we sit down and really think about it? Aren't there more things going right in our world than going wrong?

I know I am blessed beyond measure. That is another mantra for me to say daily;

I AM BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE.

I Surrender and allow more and more blessings to fill my life. I go downstream in the flow of Well-Being and Love. I am filled with peace. I am peaceful. I am at ease. Life is easy. I create ease for others. I give love to others.

Won't you join my hand in Surrendering to a life of ease, love and peace for all? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings of peace.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Back on track

Life is such a rewarding and precious experience. I have been away on a much needed vacation and feel refreshed and filled with life and promise.

This summer moved at record speed for me....and soared into the beauty of a New England autumn. I love this time of year.

Soon after writing my post from Sept 8, I had a small revelation which is evident in my daily Seeds Of Surrender inspirational e-mails. I decided to mentally change my living address and moved to Easy Street, USA. I also Surrendered all thoughts that did not correspond with living at this new address. It has been fun. I had to laugh when I read the Sept 8 post because I talk of the struggle of life. My, how thoughts can change our experience. This my inspirational SOS from this past Tuesday 9/18:

The other day I was talking with my daughter and two of her friends. In the course of the conversation one of them mentioned that struggle was something she felt was noble or valid. When I heard this, my motherly antennae went up and I quickly said something to the effect that stuggle was not something you needed to choose in life. This led to a long conversation with me doing my best to teach these young women to mentally let go of struggle and instead choose Easy Street.

We had a wonderful conversation and in the end the girls all agreed that to choose struggle was not something they wanted anymore.

The very next day, I drove up behind a car and a sticker on its bumper summed my thoughts completely.

Change is inevitable; Struggle is an option.


Go back and read the September 8th post and see just how beautifully the Universe answered my plea of struggle.

Since moving to Easy Street I bought a new car (which I LOVE). My son has happily moved into a new home and my daughter has moved to Portland, Maine. These are all wonderful events for me and my family.

I have located myself again. Ahhhhhhh there I am.

Sending you all love and I will continue with the 60 days (hey...in reality every day is a learning day) tomorrow.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Dislocated

As I sit back and reflect on the past couple of months and working through this process, it feels as though it has been a huge struggle. I am in this place of resistance that feels like a mountain I can't quite get up. (Not what you would like to hear from someone who is supposed to get this stuff. ) And I DO get it....just struggling with integrating it into my thinking.

The other night I stubbed my toe and dislocated it. Ouch!!!! That along with my puppy dislocating his eye (cuz of me) has really made me sit and look at what I am doing. When I think of the word 'dislocate' it is exactly how I feel. So for the present moments I am locating my true self and doing my best to stay within the moment of now.

My 60 day plan is going to be more like a 120 days. :) It is OK. Whatever it takes to work through this and come out the other side...fully located into my life again.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Intentions for a peacful

"I intend for my life to be peaceful and serene."

1) I would actively choose to have people in my life that also believed this way.

a) I will review each of the people that are close to me and see if they are hurting my progress in any way. If so, I will gently release them from my life. (Obviously this is easier said than done, but, understanding that you have toxic people in your life is a BIG step to getting better. Some people such as family, spouse, etc. are not people you can just dismiss. But what you can do is put your foot down to the toxic behavior they are creating and tell them you will no longer participate in it.)

2) I would choose a place of employment that nurtures my peaceful spirit.

a) I will take a good long look at my place of employment. I will look to see if it is nurturing my Spirit. If it is not I will see if there is a way to stay at this job and find peace or I will begin to look for new employment. I will give myself 6 months to seek a better place for my Spirit.

3) I would choose a home, music, and colors in my life that I viewed as peaceful.

a) I will go buy one new CD that moves my Spirit into the most peaceful place.

4) I would learn to meditate and go inward so that even in times of crisis and stress I would be able to find a place of peace within myself.

a) I will begin to take 5 minutes each day and start meditating. I will do this everyday so when I have stress, I will have a place I can go to that will bring me peace.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Take Action with Intention

Define 10 action steps you can make within the next six months to help you achieve your goals. If there are no concrete action steps you can take then you can: Surrender your fears.
My intention is for this circumstance to be held in the palm of Gods hand for care and keeping.


My intention is to live day by day knowing that all is well.

My intention is to let go of all fear the minute I feel it.

My intention is to hold peaceful and loving thoughts devoid of all fear.

My intention is to hold firm to the beliefs and thoughts that are of God.

When I use the word intention, it can feel as though intention happens only in the future. But intention happens now. Intention is a now thing. It is a form of putting your foot down to the Universe and saying, "Darn it, this is going to happen and this is what I am going to do to help it happen".

www.isurrenderthis.com

Friday, August 31, 2007

Intention for the best

Let us now begin to focus on intention. Intention for me is the physical, mental and emotional action that we put behind our thoughts and beliefs. What does the dictionary give as the definition of intention?


Something that somebody plans to do or achieve.


The key word in this definintion is plans. Planning is a verb. It could read: Something that somebody does in the form of action to achieve something they desire.


Intention also is the power and force which created the Universe. Intention is co-creating with God. God does Its part...you do yours. Everything in life requires some sort of action. Our action can be a conscious choice to NOT TAKE ACTION, but in doing this we are still intending something.


So, what are your intentions for achieving your goals, having your dreams come true and living a life without fear? Sometimes the intention is just a conscious intention to Surrender or let go. It requires nothing else but for the Universe to hear that we are ready to put our fears completely into Gods hands. This is what I did when my son went to war. There was no action I could take except to let go within my own thoughts.

Other times we must take physical and emotional action. "I Surrender This" would never have come to fruition without active work on my part. My intention was to create this and so I had to buy clay and sculpt the hand. I had to find organic material for the flag. I had to write the book....and on and on. I could not have just stood back and said.."OK, I have this great idea that I intend for the Universe and I am just going to stand back and through thoughts and beliefs manifest it". Guess what? It would not have happened. Not yet anyway!


Depending on the issue at hand, your intention will require different things from you.


Let's take an example that requires action:


"I intend for my life to be peaceful and serene."


1) I would actively choose to have people in my life that also believed this way.
2) I would choose a place of employment that nutured my peaceful spirit.
3) I would choose a home, music, and colors in my life that I viewed as peaceful.
4) I would learn to meditate and go inward so that even in times of crisis and stress I would be able to find a place of peace within myself.


Here is an example where the only action I can take is to Surrender.


"I intend for my son to come home safely from Iraq."

1) I can pray for him.
2) I can ask the angels and God to be with him and protect him.
3) I can visualize him coming home safe and whole.
4) I can believe and trust that he will come home safely.


Do you see the difference between the two desires/intentions? For today I want you to think about your life and the issue you have chosen to work on. Is there action you can take to help you achieve it or is it something you just must put into the loving care of God?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Letting go of the past

I am doing my best to get back on track. Yesterday I woke up feeling sad. I spent the morning wondering where it came from. Why was I sad? I have no reason that I can think of for this feeling. In pondering the why's I realized that this time of year...in the past...has seen many good-byes. It is more than just an end of summer. For many of my recent years it has been a time of heart felt good-byes.

19 years ago this September, my husband (he was just a new love at that point) went away on a 7 month journey around the world. I cried for days, weeks, months, wondering if this new love could survive this long time apart. It has.

My daughter heading off to college.

My son starting boot camp.

My son going to Afghanistan.

My son going to Iraq.

None of these may seem like big things to others...I certainly respect that, but for me, who has had abandonment issues her whole life, these were big good-byes.

So yesterday, this realization of what was bothering me, gave me a new outlook on the day. I was able to let go of these good-byes. They are not my reality this year.

All is well.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Surrender hits a wall


I must be honest...even the Surrender queen can get muddled up with life events.


Life has been somewhat overwhelming for me lately...can't really put my finger on why, but I am working on letting it all go. Maybe it is the accumulated effort of the work I have been doing toward Surrender....I am being asked to Surrender in a big way. JUST LET IT ALL GO!!!!!



I Surrender This....everything that does not hold the love of God within it.



I am very far behind on my postings. The rhythm of my life needs some adjusting.



We have another new puppy, her name is Dalai, and I feel somewhat like the mother of 1 year old twins. I always have to keep my eye on them. Sweet Pabu had the stitches out from his eye yesterday and it appears that he can see. I am VERY, VERY thankful.


Friday, August 24, 2007

My little Pabu


I look back at my post on Tuesday...filled with good intentions, trust, miracles and hope.



I take a deep breath. Just after writing this, I went out to run some errands and brought my new puppy Pabu with me. He likes to go in the car. As I got out of the car to grab some fresh corn at a farmstand he jumped to come out with me and I did not see him. I shut the door and the handle hit his head and dislodged his eye from the socket. Ohhhhhhhhhh!
I was near a veterinarian and they took him in just minutes later and performed surgery. It has been very hard on me. I feel awful...thus I have not been doing my blogging for the past few days.
His eye is sewn shut and they will look on Monday to see how it is doing and if he still has sight. If you read this, please send little Pabu a prayer.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Journal of Surrender

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~Edward Everett Hale~
Todays lesson is to journal about the process of Surrender thus far.
Lisa's journal;
Having done this before, I am always amazed at what new turns up in my life. I have been working very hard through this process. Conscious at each turn to how I am thinking and believing and talking about my life.
This past week I was away visiting for most of the week and it was amazing the people and their lives that Spirit placed before me.

The past month I have felt as though I am treading against the tide. That I have picked an up hill battle. That I am lost in a sea of so much. These are not the best thoughts to have and yet I am aware and accepting that these are my feelings at this time. With that said, I can now work to change these very thoughts and ideas and beliefs to ones of hope, accomplishment and change.
As I sit here today, I see that many of the changes I have made recently are just the seeds planted in the ground. I am now set to water and feed these changes....and soon they will grow and florish and become that which I desire.

It is important that I: "Don't quit before the miracle occurs"
I am set for the miraculous.
I am open and allowing for the miraculous in my life.
I see the miraculous all around me.
I am within It....and It is within me.
I am filled with hope, trust and love.
I am Surrendered.
I tread with the flow.
I climb the mountain with ease.
I live in a sea of possibilities.
I am one with the great I AM.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Digging deeper into limiting beliefs

Today you need to dig deep into your ideas and beliefs.

For only as much as you can believe, will be given unto you.

This is a law that I want you to understand.

Last weeks lessons were on "thinking". Thinking is an autonomic response that can be changed through practice. But believing is something much deeper. It comes from a place within you that has feeling and emotion. Some beliefs we come to on our own. Others are passed down from generation to generation. Others are instilled in us through education, politics, religion, parents and countless others ways.

We believe certain things to be true until they are proven otherwise. How long did humans believe the world was flat? What did we believe about disease before we were able to see the inner workings of the body under a microscope? How much of what we believe to be true today will someday be laughed at?

Again I ask you, what do you believe about yourself and your circumstances?
Write down some things that you want to believe about your surrender issue but are having trouble actually believing.

As you write these down....please DO NOT put the word WANT into the sentence. Just know in your head that you are having trouble with these.

Once you have done this you can very simply know what is holding you back from receiving.
You must be able to believe it for yourself for it to manifest. It can be conscious or unconscious but either way it will direct your path and journey. Your beliefs are like the conductor of an orchestra. Without a conductor the musicians would not know when to start to play or when to get louder or softer. They might know what notes to play by reading the music (our thoughts) but the conductor (belief) puts it all together to make beautiful symphonies.

For today I want you to really think about your beliefs about this situation and yourself. I want you to look at what beliefs you hold that may be keeping you stuck. Hold onto these for one more day and be ready to let go of them forever tomorrow!

http://www.isurrenderthis.com/60days_surrender.html

Monday, August 13, 2007

Believe in Yourself

Let's begin the next step on your path to Surrender Success! True Belief.

As you worked last week through changing thought patterns you may have come to a point where you were affirming and thinking new thoughts only to be haunted by another thought that said, "This is a crock of -----". I just don't believe what I am telling myself. Ahhhhhhh.

Let's get real here. What made you believe those people in your life that said negative things to you about yourself? Those that said you couldn't or shouldn't. Those that said you did not measure up? I say, "Measure up to who?" Who are you comparing yourself to and who were they comparing you to.

I can promise you that although you may feel that these negative thoughts about yourself come from you....they did not originate in you.

You are a unique human being that is all love. You were created in the power of thought that only knows love. This is what you should believe about yourself!

What power did those people have over you that made you believe their fear based thoughts rather than the love that was your true Spirit? Who taught you to fear? Who taught you that you were not worthy? Who said so and why did you believe them?

Those that taught you fear came from their own fear, which came from someone else's fear. Isn't it time you stopped this cycle and learned to live in love for yourself and the entire world at large?

Today I just want you to think about this and to ponder what gave those people or those circumstances power over the love in your being.

Love yourself. Love yourself for the lessons you are learning and the circumstances you are overcoming. Love each positive thought that you have. Believe in yourself!! Believe in the Spirit of God working within you. Believe and trust in a brighter tomorrow. Cry if you must for all the days you have thought less than worthy about the bright Spirit that is you. Honor your path. Honor your lessons and move forward today in love with yourself.


Namaste

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Powerful present tense affirmation

Today I want you to write a powerful and present tense affirmation for yourself concerning what you are Surrendering.

Here is mine:

"I consciously create the world I choose to live in."

Now read the affirmation back to yourself emphasizing one word at a time. Speak with joy in your heart. Remember to smile :)

My powerful present tense statement.

I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.
I consciously create the world I choose to live in.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Surrender Statement

It's time to write a Surrender statement. It is time to put it out to the Universe. It is time to not only create my day, but create the very world I live in.

I Surrender This;
I have a joyful, peaceful, happy life. Each day is perfect, alive, hopeful, balanced, touched by Spirit, filled with love. I awake each day refreshed and ready for my day.

Those people I am seeking to help are seeking the help I offer.

I Surrender This....is magical to many.

I am guided, helped and protected.

I am healthy, abundant and free.

I ask
I allow
I surrender
I am answered

and so it is on this day and each day of my life

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Creating my day

Well, today is my birthday and I am taking some down time to celebrate and have fun!!! I have just come home from teaching a class at the Omega Institute Teen Camp and what a great group of young adults!! I taught a class on Surrender and throughly enjoyed working with the students. They really got it.

Anyway, I have been away for a few days and need to do some catching up.

The lesson I am working on now is to create my day.

I Create My Day-from What the Bleep

The most often referenced interview in the film is Dr. Joe Dispenza's comments on creating his day. In response to the numerous requests, the following is the transcript of that part of the interview.

"I wake up in the morning and I consciously create my day the way I want it to happen. Now sometimes, because my mind is examining all the things that I need to get done, it takes me a little bit to settle down and get to the point of where I'm actually intentionally creating my day. But here's the thing: When I create my day and out of nowhere little things happen that are so unexplainable, I know that they are the process or the result of my creation. And the more I do that, the more I build a neural net in my brain that I accept that that's possible. (This) gives me the power and the incentive to do it the next day.

"So if we're consciously designing our destiny, and if we're consciously from a spiritual standpoint throwing in with the idea that our thoughts can affect our reality or affect our life -- because reality equals life -- then I have this little pact that I have when I create my day. I say, 'I'm taking this time to create my day and I'm infecting the quantum field.

Now if (it) is in fact the observer's watching me the whole time that I'm doing this and there is a spiritual aspect to myself, then show me a sign today that you paid attention to any one of these things that I created, and bring them in a way that I won't expect, so I'm as surprised at my ability to be able to experience these things. And make it so that I have no doubt that it's come from you,' and so I live my life, in a sense, all day long thinking about being a genius or thinking about being the glory and the power of God or thinking about being unconditional love.

"I'll use living as a genius, for example. And as I do that during parts of the day, I'll have thoughts that are so amazing, that cause a chill in my physical body, that have come from nowhere. But then I remember that that thought has an associated energy that's produced an effect in my physical body. Now that's a subjective experience, but the truth is is that I don't think that unless I was creating my day to have unlimited thought, that that thought would come."

(Dr. Joe Dispenza in What the BLEEP Do We Know!?TM)

Sunday, August 05, 2007

What an answer to my prayers

This morning (Sunday) I woke up with this song running through my mind.

I have no idea why? Well, except the explaination that God wanted me to hear it. LOL.

And so I pass it on to you.

I believe Olivia Newton John recorded it back in the 70's or 80's.

I told you it was random!!!

As I re-read the lyrics before sending it off...it made me cry, for I have been asking for guidance.

WOW, what an answer to prayer.

I hope the words bless you as well,
Lisa

Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know that I'll be kind
I'll be guiding you
Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes surviveYour destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For youFrom where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you
Through every turn I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams aliveFor you

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Thoughts create our world

Our thoughts are the most creative force in the universe. This is because our ability to think was created in the likeness of the Universal Mind.

To understand the power behind thought and the Universal Mind (God), there are some things you need to know.

1) God is impersonal. What this means is that NO thought has weight above another thought. This is such a hard concept for most of us to grasp, but it is true. Whether we are asking for a cure from cancer or a parking space at the local store, neither of these are different in the eyes of God. What is different is how we "feel" about them. The more feeling behind the thought, the closer it is to the vibration of God and a response. This "feeling" can be either negative and fear-based or positive and love-based. A strong fear-based thought will have more power than a low love-based thought.

2) To move out of anything that is undesired, we must be aligned more with love than with fear.

3) Most of us need to re-train our thought process.

4) Our thoughts are as real as the computer screen you are looking at. Each and every thought moves through time and space and into the unified field of possibility just waiting for an outcome. What are your thoughts creating?



Lisa's thoughts on this;
This past week has been challenging for me. As I look back I have to ask myself, "Where have your thoughts been?"

Like a fish on a line I have been pulled into some negative thoughts about a situation in my life. I have not seemed able to roll with the punches. However, awareness is key, and a few bad days does not a life-time make.

I woke up this morning and asked the Universe for my desire; to be creating and implimenting workshops, e-zines, local classes, articles, and e-books around the subject of Spiritual Surrender, full time and that I am financially supported in it.

NOW...I Surrender.
NOW...I Allow

I am given the knowledge and tools I need to create a life of financial freedom.

I Surrender This

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Gratitude for me-the attitude of love

Well, my blog got blocked by a spam virus....I guess not enough activity and too many links to the same thing...so I am behind in my postings and my Surrender work.

I would like you to continue to focus on those things that you can be grateful for. However for these two days you are going to focus only on those things about YOU that you are grateful for. I would like you to write down at least 30 -50 things about yourself that you are grateful for.

These are attributes that are yours.

You are a miracle created in the image of God. See yourself as this and see the wonder of YOU.

I am grateful for my tolerance.
I am grateful my smile
I am grateful my eyes
I am grateful my ears
I am grateful whole amazing body
I am grateful voice
I am grateful coordination
I am grateful writing ability
I am grateful loving heart
I am grateful beating heart
I am grateful compassionate heart
I am grateful ability to cook great food
I am grateful ability as an artist
I am grateful ability to sing
I am grateful love in spite of
I am grateful my ability look outside the box
I am grateful the Spirit within my being
I am grateful for my soul
I am grateful the laughter that comes from me
I am grateful for my love of music
I am grateful the ability of my body to birth children
I am grateful for my love of animals
I am grateful!!!!for ME!!!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

More Gratitude-Constant Gratitude

When you begin to find the gratitude in each and every circumstance in your life, you begin to look at life through a new focus. No matter what it is that is happening in your life, there are things to be thankful for. Find them and focus on them and watch more of them come into your life.

I am thankful for my voice. A voice that speaks of love, tolerance and peace.

I am thankful for the ability to see "out of the box". To look at the world with eyes that are focused on the good, the positive and the love.

I am thankful for the people that I have met on my journey of Surrender.

I am thankful for those people that are so willing to help me with this message.

I am thankful.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I AM grateful


Today we are going to lighten up the mood from the past few days and concentrate on gratitude.

Gratitude is a choice to see things in a different light. The light of God. When you are grateful it is almosts impossible to feel negative. Remember that what you focus on becomes your reality. When you focus on all the things you don't have, or all the people that treat you unfairly, or all the heartache that you have, then this is what you are creating for your life. Instead focus on all the things you have to feel grateful for. This is an important part of changing your neural pathways.

So for today's lesson I would like you to make an extensive list of all those things that you are grateful for. I would like you to write down at least 75-100 things that you are grateful for in your life. This should be easy. If you struggle with this, then I would suggest that you are focusing on lots of negativity in your life. Take a deep breath and see the bright side.

When you are done with this list I would like you to take it and read it through. As you go through each item I would like you to state, "Thank you for giving me this. I Surrender my joy to you".

When thinking of Surrendering, many people are under the impression that it is only our grief, sorrow and heartache that we should Surrender. This is not so, When you Surrender your joy and thanksgiving to the Universe, you are saying " Thank you, give me more".

The place where Surrender resides is in the very heart of God. The magnitude at which your joy and gratitude will be transformed into more joy when you Surrender it, is ten to twenty fold. Heartache attracts heartache. Sorrow attracts sorrow. Depression attracts depression. Joy attracts joy!

Gratitude attracts more circumstances to be grateful for.


1) Molly
2) Quinn
3) my family-my parents-my sisters and brothers-all extended family
4) Scott-Scott's family
5) Betty
6) all of my animals past and present
7) my home
8) the sun
9) the moon
10) the stars
11) the countless aspects of nature
12) music
13) ears to hear it with
14) eyes
15) food
16) touch
17) cotton-organic
18) farmers
19) birds-Veedor
20) art
21) cameras
22) books
23) the authors that write books
24) the internet
25) simple living
26) the ocean
27) every cell in my being
28) the perfection of my living body
29) my mind
30) laughter
31) tears
32) friends
33) school-teachers
34) a warm bed to lie in each night
35) the country
36) my computers
37) coffee
38) tea
39) explorers
40) people willing to take a risk
41) yoga
42) dance
43) picnics
44) summer
45) fall
46) warm sand in my toes
47) cool evenings
48) fireflies
49) flowers
50) my car
51) roads to drive on
52) electricity
53) candle-light
54) fruit
55) vegetables
56) clean bathrooms
57) hot showers
58) the sense of smell
59) warm breezes coming through windows
60) clean air
61) clean water
62) the angels
63) GOD-how could this be so far down the list? should be #1
64) my mentors
65) my abundant income
66) the ability to help others
67) healers-in all forms
68) warm clothes-wool
69) arms to hug with
70) my beating heart
71) blue skies
72) Toby Pond
73) The ball park road
74) Haystack Mountain
75) Green Donkey's
76) Every moment of my life
77) Rainbows
78) Sunrise
79) Sunsets
80) the rumble of thunder
81) miracles
82) Peace
83) Love
84) Forgivness
85) Tolerance

Monday, July 30, 2007

Limiting beliefs Part 2

Since the inception of "I Surrender This", I have had an image in my mind of it being helpful to many, many people. I see hundreds/thousands of people waving their white flags and holding a peace-filled vigil of Surrender. I speak and inspire many. I am the cheerleader of Surrender.

As the day to day workings of trying to get the Surrender message out have often seemed futile to me...there have been many days of discouragment. It has created a limiting belief in me that people do not care or need the idea of "I Surrender This".

The voice that says this is the voice of the ego...and today...I pledge not to listen to it any longer.

I am deaf to the limiting voice of the ego.

I am mute to the ego voice within my mind.

I hear nothing...I speak nothing back.

My teaching, my surrender work....sustains me with abundance, peace and helping others.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Birthday greetings and love from a mom


Well today is a very special day. It is my son't 23rd Birthday.


My son is an integral part of "I Surrender This" and without him and his journey, I very well might not be sitting here writing this blog on Surrender.


Although I have not as yet written a complete account of what it was like having a son at war...it was the precipice for "I Surrender This". It was my own "dark night of the soul".


I created "I Surrender This" during his first deployment to Afghanistan which lasted for 10 months. Both the project and the concept of Surrender are what kept me going, what got me through. He was 19 years old. Here is a photo of him during that time. He loves animals!!!
It was on his 19th birthday that he called me with the news that he was to deploy to Afghanistan. What a birthday present!!! Here is an exerpt from a letter I wrote to news-anchor Peter Jennings.
On his 19 birthday, I received a phone call at work from him. The first thing he said to me was that he had just received the best birthday present of his life. I had not sent him anything and wondered what on Earth he could have gotten. He told me they had received orders that morning that they were deploying to Afghanistan in October. This was the end of July, July 29th to be exact. I swallowed hard and tried to be happy for him. I hung up the phone and cried. He came home to Connecticut on leave a few weeks before his deployment and let me tell you, saying goodbye to him at the airport was THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life. No words can begin to explain the emotion of sending a son off to war. He would be stationed on the border of Pakistan working as part of a 7 man scout/sniper team.
Today July 29, 2007...we celebrate another birthday. I thank God every day for my ability to Surrender. The peace I got when I placed this beloved child of mine directly into the "hand of God".
So, my Quinn, Happy, Happy Birthday. I love you more than words can say. Thank you for all that you are...a hero to many.
Love Mom XXXXOOOO





Friday, July 27, 2007

limiting beliefs

Today's lesson is on limiting beliefs.

It is amazing to me that with all the work I have done on changing my belief patterns, that there is still the age old belief of low-esteem that keeps me down.

What I DO know is that I love to help people and I love to teach. So I will keep focused on these two things and let go of all the rest.

For the sake of the blog I will write down some limiting beliefs.

I do not have enough financial resources to bring "I Surrender This" out into the world.

It does not seem that anyone needs help with Surrender.

Who am I to be an expert on Surrender?

I don't write well enough to make a compelling book.


Questions to ask myself

Does this make sense?
How did I learn these ideas, and from whom?
How does believing in this affect me?
Does it help me succeed or does it hinder me, and how?

Well I know one thing for sure. None of these beliefs are helping me....and so I will say;

I DO HAVE enough financial resourses to bring "I Surrender This" out into the world.

Everyone needs help with Surrender in some form or another.

I AM an expert on Surrender?

I write well enough to make a compelling book.

And so it is

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Today's Internet Radio Program

Just wanted to remind my friends here on the blog that I will be speaking about Surrender today on my radio show at 11:30 EST at www.blogtalkradio.com

I hope you listen or call in and ask a question or comment on how you Surrender.
(646) 716-8237

See you there!

Lisa

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Day 8-Letting go of guilt

As I go through this course I am finding the power of transformation. It has worked for me. In todays lesson it asks to write down things/circumstances you "feel" guilty about.

Assignment for today. Without too much dwelling, I would like you to write down the guilty feelings that you hold onto. I do not want you to go through every little thing you have ever felt you did wrong. I would like you to write about those things that are stapled to you. Those situations that you hold onto day after day. I would also like you to write about those things that others have done to you that you are holding onto.

Having gone through this course a few other times, I see that I have really let go and surrendered those things that used to make me feel guilty. Guilt is just not something I feel anymore....and I also make choices in my life that would not put the added burden of guilt onto me. If I feel I have wronged someone, I apologize, right away.

I remember when I first took this course that the feelings of guilt I had were about not being able to financially give to my children things that other children might have had. I was wracked with guilt for not becoming "something" in my life...not being financially successful. That is all gone now. No guilt. I gave what I could, and became who I could become. My children would tell you that I gave more than enough, that I am more than enough. So what else matters?

I have surely let go of this guilt....and what a release it has been. The funny thing is, that when I let go of the guilt, I also let go of the ability for others to make me feel guilty. It became just some word with no meaning behind it. That is all it is. 5 letters put together to form a feeling.


Monday, July 23, 2007

Guilt

Today's lesson is about guilt! It can be so crippling and it is something I do my best to avoid. I spent many years playing the guilty game. I was guilty of everything! No more...nope, not me.

I am who I am, who I am.

I am never one to intentionally hurt another...does it happen sometimes. I'm sure it does. But through my Surrender work, I have learned that the past is the past. Why spend anytime in guilt about it...it can't be changed. This has been a huge lesson for me....to live within the moment. Not in the future. Not in the past. But alive and kicken in the present moment of now.

What a joy and relief it is!

Here is a reference about guilt taken from " A Course in Miracles"

Read more about it :A Course in Miracles How It Came - What It Is - What It Says
T-13.X.4. When you maintain that you are guilty but the source of your guilt lies in the past, you are not looking inward. 2 The past is not in you. 3 Your weird associations to it have no meaning in the present. 4 Yet you let them stand between you and your brothers, with whom you find no real relationships at all. 5 Can you expect to use your brothers as a means to "solve" the past, and still to see them as they really are? 6 Salvation is not found by those who use their brothers to resolve problems that are not there. 7 You wanted not salvation in the past. 8 Would you impose your idle wishes on the present, and hope to find salvation now?

T-13.X.5. Determine, then, to be not as you were. 2 Use no relationship to hold you to the past, but with each one each day be born again. 3 A minute, even less, will be enough to free you from the past, and give your mind in peace over to the Atonement. 4 When everyone is welcome to you as you would have yourself be welcome to your Father, you will see no guilt in you. 5 For you will have accepted the Atonement, which shone within you all the while you dreamed of guilt, and would not look within and see it.

T-13.X.6. As long as you believe that guilt is justified in any way, in anyone, whatever he may do, you will not look within, where you would always find Atonement. 2 The end of guilt will never come as long as you believe there is a reason for it. 3 For you must learn that guilt is always totally insane, and has no reason. 4 The Holy Spirit seeks not to dispel reality. 5 If guilt were real, Atonement would not be. 6 The purpose of Atonement is to dispel illusions, not to establish them as real and then forgive them.

T-13.I.1. Earlier, I said that the Holy Spirit shares the goal of all good teachers, whose ultimate aim is to make themselves unnecessary by teaching their pupils all they know. 2 The Holy Spirit wants only this, for sharing the Father's Love for His Son, He seeks to remove all guilt from his mind that he may remember his Father in peace. 3 Peace and guilt are antithetical, and the Father can be remembered only in peace. 4 Love and guilt cannot coexist, and to accept one is to deny the other. 5 Guilt hides Christ from your sight, for it is the denial of the blamelessness of God's Son

Here you can find the complete reading on this:
A Course in Miracles/Chapter 13/ A Guiltless World

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Surrender Meditation-Day 5

I created this meditation for the 60 Days Course and found it to be something I would come back to time and time again. I have it memorized and say it whenever I am feeling ungrounded, attached to strong negative emotions or when I need soothing. I hope you enjoy it as well.
Meditation to a Higher Vibration

MP3 File-Download

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Days 3 & 4

I am off to a fantastic start. The excitement I am feeling is palpable. I am energized by the action and letting go that is taking place. As I move through just the first couple of days amazing things are happening.

Today I found a website where I can host a live talk show (hello...for free). I will be hosting it every Wednesday at 11:30 EST and discussing "60 Days to Surrender Success" and my journey.

I'm not even sure how I found this website...but it is JUST what I have been looking for as a platform. I hope you will join in or you can hear them in the archive.


I Have a Talk Show



The Universe is giving me so much information that I almost can't keep up. WOW.

Surrender....let Spirit move within you....magic.



Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Day 2

Woke up earlier than usual to "Fire the Grid". What a blessing I feel to live on this beautiful planet. My space in this world is green and full of animal life. I am so very blessed and I bless this Earth.

60 Days to Surrender Success

Day 2
Fear is not something that challenges me anymore. Thank you God. At least not on a level that it used to. Mostly I feel blocks in my personality. My unfocused mind. My lack of routine.


Cancel/Clear/Delete.

For the beginning of these 60 days I would like to focus on getting into a bit of a routine. Doing some time blocking. (I will need to research this) (quickly) LOL. Start an exercise and eating schedule. Meditation and prayer time. Time each day in making connections and working on my business.

I feel great! I love the motivation I feel! I am Surrendered and will go where God leads.
I ask for direction and miracles. Peace and abundance. Love and health. Joy and beauty.

And so it is.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Audio Blog for first day

Audio blog for first day.
Monday morning Day 1....off to a late start...but a start none the less. hmmmmm a letter to myself about my fears.

I have moved so far away from the fearful old me that it actually seems hard for me to come up with something. I guess my biggest fear at the moment is that my work with Surrender is going unheard. I so very much want to help people live the fearless, worryless life that I know brings joy and miracles. I sometimes feel inadaquate to get my message out...I just don't know how to go about it.

How would my life look if these fears were removed?
Wow...it makes me feel so excited and joyful to just think about it. I would be teaching and helping people on a daily basis. I would be meeting new people and telling my story. I would be giving hope and love to the world. I do this now on a very small scale and I would love to see it happen...and will see it happen...on a much larger scale.

What am I willing to do to see this change? I feel that I just need to direct my energy. Give more. Trust. Smile. My effort is in believing in the possibilities. Trusting in the outcome. Surrendering how it will happen....and wait for the magic and miracles.

What will happen if I do not change? Life will go on as it is...which is not all that bad. I am Surrendered!!!

Why is it important for me to change? How are my fears hindering my life?
Marianne Williamson said it best.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])

Monday, July 09, 2007

I have created this blog to share my experience as I go through the e-course "60 Days to Surrender Success". I wrote it!!! How about that. I thought is was time I did it again for myself. It was so powerful and life-changing the last time I did it...I wondered why I am not always doing it....but sometimes you need to break free...drift off...stop doing... and just breath.

For me, it is a time now for action. Action to move forward...remove blocks....live life to its fullest...and Surrender all. Today is the day.