Today I watched a most inspiring documentary called "The Saint of 9/11". It is about a chaplain for the NYFD who died on 9/11. His name is Father Mychal Judge. It is a truly inspiring movie that I urge you all to see.
I have Netflix and was able to download it right to my computer. Here is a link to a website devoted to the film.
www.saintof9-11.com
Monday, February 04, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Matters of the heart
Quinn saw his cardiologist yesterday and received the news that his heart is back to pumping the normal amount of blood from his heart. This is great news. He also learned that the area where he lost blood supply during the MI has scarred. I guess this is expected, although I affirm he can turn these scars into healthy tissue again.
Yesterday, apropos, this was the days Heaven Letters. I will just copy the first part, you can read the entire letter on the site.
This is a portion 1/23/2008 HeavanLetter
God said:
There isn't any revelation that cannot reach the hollows of your heart.
There is not one thing in Heaven or on Earth that cannot appear in your heart.
There is not one blessing that cannot be deep in your heart.
All manifestations of love can live in your heart.
This is what your heart was made for.
All My beautiful messages are sent to your dear heart and are reachable there.
One message of love is reaching you right now.
Your heart is eager to receive My love. It is gulping at the chance.
Your heart beats for this splendid opportunity that is before it right now.
There are dozens of messages on their way to your heart.
Dozens, trillions!
All the messages I have ever sent continue to crisscross the Universe.
All of my energy whizzes through the Universe.
There is no heartbeat I miss.
I will read this message daily, for as long as it takes, for Quinn's heart to feel the healing and love that God is sending his way.
Yesterday, apropos, this was the days Heaven Letters. I will just copy the first part, you can read the entire letter on the site.
This is a portion 1/23/2008 HeavanLetter
God said:
There isn't any revelation that cannot reach the hollows of your heart.
There is not one thing in Heaven or on Earth that cannot appear in your heart.
There is not one blessing that cannot be deep in your heart.
All manifestations of love can live in your heart.
This is what your heart was made for.
All My beautiful messages are sent to your dear heart and are reachable there.
One message of love is reaching you right now.
Your heart is eager to receive My love. It is gulping at the chance.
Your heart beats for this splendid opportunity that is before it right now.
There are dozens of messages on their way to your heart.
Dozens, trillions!
All the messages I have ever sent continue to crisscross the Universe.
All of my energy whizzes through the Universe.
There is no heartbeat I miss.
I will read this message daily, for as long as it takes, for Quinn's heart to feel the healing and love that God is sending his way.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
It is 3 months to the day since Quinn's heart healing MI. He is doing well. He will see his doctors next week to see how well he has healed. I am praying for a complete healing of his heart. A heart with perfect and strong function. If you read this, prayers for this would be much appreciated.
Blessings
Blessings
Thursday, January 03, 2008
May you be blessed in the new year
2008 is here. In one respect, it is just another day. But for me it feels like a new beginning. A time of quiet reflection and inner work. I love the new year and the promise it holds for change of self if we so desire.
When recently asked what my new years resolution was, I simply stated that I do not make new years resolutuons. What I DO do is to take notice of my life and look for ways to improve it. I found last year to be quite challenging. I look now within myself to see why I viewed it as such a challenge. Was it mearly my mental state? Or would most be challenged by the events of the recent months.
I look with optimism and trust toward this new year. Trust in myself and God that all is well. All is being cared for. I am Surrendered.
When recently asked what my new years resolution was, I simply stated that I do not make new years resolutuons. What I DO do is to take notice of my life and look for ways to improve it. I found last year to be quite challenging. I look now within myself to see why I viewed it as such a challenge. Was it mearly my mental state? Or would most be challenged by the events of the recent months.
I look with optimism and trust toward this new year. Trust in myself and God that all is well. All is being cared for. I am Surrendered.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Tears of Joy
Where does the time go? Sometimes lately I feel like I am in warp speed. Days and weeks go by and I don't remember what I have done or where the time has gone. Scary!
I continue to remind myself and focus each day on all the good that is in my life. I admit I am often still rattled by Quinn's "heart healing". I have wonderful positive days where all the world is a-light with the glory of living and God's grace. I have other days where I can barely move to get out of my own way, weighted down with thought.
I can't imagine how I would be handling this without the constant reminder of Surrender. Just let it go...let it be...allow God...accept what is...go with the flow....God is in charge....you have angels and Quinn has angels and Molly has angels.
Yesterday I was thinking hard about Quinn and all he has been through....I admit I was feeling sorry for him and myself. Why did this have to happen? What does it all mean? What will he do? Will he be OK? You get the point? I was driving in my car as all of these thoughts raced through my head. And wouldn't you know the next song on the radio is....drum beat...."You Ain"t Seen Nothing Like the Mighty Quinn". I had to pull into a gas station and cry for a bit. Tears of joy!
I continue to remind myself and focus each day on all the good that is in my life. I admit I am often still rattled by Quinn's "heart healing". I have wonderful positive days where all the world is a-light with the glory of living and God's grace. I have other days where I can barely move to get out of my own way, weighted down with thought.
I can't imagine how I would be handling this without the constant reminder of Surrender. Just let it go...let it be...allow God...accept what is...go with the flow....God is in charge....you have angels and Quinn has angels and Molly has angels.
Yesterday I was thinking hard about Quinn and all he has been through....I admit I was feeling sorry for him and myself. Why did this have to happen? What does it all mean? What will he do? Will he be OK? You get the point? I was driving in my car as all of these thoughts raced through my head. And wouldn't you know the next song on the radio is....drum beat...."You Ain"t Seen Nothing Like the Mighty Quinn". I had to pull into a gas station and cry for a bit. Tears of joy!
Friday, November 16, 2007
An Angel Named Keturah
Around 15 years ago I picked up a book called "Angel Speak". In the book it suggests you ask your guardian angel its name. I was intrigued by this and sat down and did the meditation. As I did the meditation the name Keturah came to my mind. I immediately felt this was the name of my guardian angel and I started speaking to her. I used the name for my password on many computers and I named a design company after her..Keturah Designs...I made jewlery and sold it.
This was all well before the internet...one day a few years ago...I decided to see if I could find an origin to this unusual name. I spelled it Katura...and would always come away with Japanese stuff...and then one day...I must have spelled it differently and I about fell off the chair I was sitting on...this is what I found.
In the Book of Genesis, Keturah or Ketura (Hebrew: קְטוּרָה, Standard Qətura Tiberian Qəṭûrāh ; "Incense") is the woman whom Abraham marries after the death of Sarah. She bears him six sons, Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah.
She is styled "Abraham's concubine" (1 Chr. 1:32). Abraham married her probably after Sarah's death (Gen. 25:1-6). He also sent the sons he had by Keturah to live in the east far from his son Isaac. Rabbinic lore (midrash) holds that Keturah is identical with Hagar
I still consider her my guardian...maybe not an angel...but with me none the less...and teaching and guiding me.
Soooo...my son had a heart attack on Ocotber 9, 2007....and I called on God and all the angels to be with him. Many miracles occured on that day. He had emergency angioplasty and a stent put into his main artery and was placed in Cardiac Intensive Care. That night I slept in the waiting room for the CICU...a few blankets and some chairs became my bed for the night...or at least a place to rest my head. Around 7 or so the next morning...after being awake most of the night, I went to see how Quinn was doing. He was doing well, tired and upset, but hanging in there physically. I sat down in the chair in the room and my eyes gazed upon the wall where there was a white-board. On the white board it gave the date, and the names of his doctor, nurse and assistant nurse. My eyes flew open as I saw the name Keturah as the name of his assistant nurse. How could this be? I had never heard someone with that name in my life. I had never heard it used before. Even most people who know the bible don't remember the name Keturah...but there it was...a 'sign' that she was with us...watching over my son.
Later that afternoon I took Keturah (the nursing assistant) aside and told her how her name had brought an amazing sign to me from my guardian angel named Keturah. Her eyes misted over with tears and she was very touched by the story. Keturah looked at me and said, "Do you know what the name means? Do you know who Keturah was?" I told her I knew exactly who she was. Keturah smiled and again her eyes filled up with tears as she told me how touched she was to be used by God in such an amazing way.
This was all well before the internet...one day a few years ago...I decided to see if I could find an origin to this unusual name. I spelled it Katura...and would always come away with Japanese stuff...and then one day...I must have spelled it differently and I about fell off the chair I was sitting on...this is what I found.
In the Book of Genesis, Keturah or Ketura (Hebrew: קְטוּרָה, Standard Qətura Tiberian Qəṭûrāh ; "Incense") is the woman whom Abraham marries after the death of Sarah. She bears him six sons, Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah.
She is styled "Abraham's concubine" (1 Chr. 1:32). Abraham married her probably after Sarah's death (Gen. 25:1-6). He also sent the sons he had by Keturah to live in the east far from his son Isaac. Rabbinic lore (midrash) holds that Keturah is identical with Hagar
I still consider her my guardian...maybe not an angel...but with me none the less...and teaching and guiding me.
Soooo...my son had a heart attack on Ocotber 9, 2007....and I called on God and all the angels to be with him. Many miracles occured on that day. He had emergency angioplasty and a stent put into his main artery and was placed in Cardiac Intensive Care. That night I slept in the waiting room for the CICU...a few blankets and some chairs became my bed for the night...or at least a place to rest my head. Around 7 or so the next morning...after being awake most of the night, I went to see how Quinn was doing. He was doing well, tired and upset, but hanging in there physically. I sat down in the chair in the room and my eyes gazed upon the wall where there was a white-board. On the white board it gave the date, and the names of his doctor, nurse and assistant nurse. My eyes flew open as I saw the name Keturah as the name of his assistant nurse. How could this be? I had never heard someone with that name in my life. I had never heard it used before. Even most people who know the bible don't remember the name Keturah...but there it was...a 'sign' that she was with us...watching over my son.
Later that afternoon I took Keturah (the nursing assistant) aside and told her how her name had brought an amazing sign to me from my guardian angel named Keturah. Her eyes misted over with tears and she was very touched by the story. Keturah looked at me and said, "Do you know what the name means? Do you know who Keturah was?" I told her I knew exactly who she was. Keturah smiled and again her eyes filled up with tears as she told me how touched she was to be used by God in such an amazing way.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Floating downstream
Over the course of the past few weeks, I have come here to write on the blog. But each time I did, my emotions took over, and what I wrote was not from the place of Surrender. It was coming from the heart of a mother whose heart and mind were still in the place of fear. I want very much to chronicle the many miracles and beautiful moments of the past month, for there have been many. I have found my place of peace. I am Surrendered. What a journey it has been. I also feel that Quinn deserves privacy and not his whole life spilled over a blog, and I am going to respect that and tell my story rather than his.
Quinn is doing well and "on the mend". It will be awhile before he feels the way he did before the heart attack and he may never feel exactly the same. He is forever changed.
Today I want to start sharing the many small miracles that I was a witness to during this event.
Where was I mentally when this all happened? The weekend before his heart attack was Columbus Day weekend. It was absolutely spectacular weather wise here in new england. My sister Patti http://www.pattisinclair.com/ had held a weekend retreat at an amazing home that our two husbands built in 2000-2002 http://www.roughlandfarm.com/. We are married to two brothers!!!!
On Sunday night after the retreat was over, Patti invited many friends and family over to celebrate her oldest childs' sixteenth birthday. Quinn and his girlfriend Kelly came over to help celebrate. He looked fabulous, glowing, smiling and ready to complete the last week of his 22 week course at the police academy. A special friend of my sisters who had been at the retreat stayed to share the festivities. She met Quinn for the first time and although I was not in the room when they met, she told me later she put his face in her hands and told him how handsome he was. She told him how she prayed for him while he was deployed.
Later on that same evening Quinn's girlfriends mother and stepfather and sister also came over to see this spectacular estate. Quinn worked in the building of it doing "slave labor" when he was in highschool and he wanted to share it with them. We all had a fun time sharing the night and the gift of our family and friends together. I was SO content. Really content. Glowing myself.
The next morning, Monday, I went over to the house again to swim in the pool and enjoy the sauna and hot tub. I remember clearly swimming in the pool as the glorious autumn sun gleamed in on me and the leaves outside shown in their amazing brilliant colors. I spoke outloud to my sister that "I have not felt this content and happy in years". For me, I felt that life, just around the corner, was finally going to give me peace. Life does not give you peace. It must always come from within and not from outward circumstances. This is THE message. For my outward world was soon to change dramatically.
On Tuesday morning I was reading e-mails and getting ready for work. I had just recently reunited with an old friend after 33 years. We had been e-mailing back and forth for a few days. That morning I had recieved an email from him telling me much about his life for the past 33 years. I again was content and filled with wonder at how much fun the Universe holds, and then the phone rang. It was 2:14 10/9/07. It was Midstate Memorial Hospital in Meridan Connectictut. The phone showed that it was an "out of area" call and I thought twice about answering it. The phone call was to tell me that they had Quinn with them and he was being transported to Hartford Hospital. I was still quite calm and not fully understanding what was going on. I thought he must have injured himself at the police academy and needed further treatment. It was when I asked them how long the ambulance was going to take to get him from Midstate to Hartford that the reality hit. It was then they told me he was "in the middle of a major cardiac event" and was being taken by LifeStar Helicopter. There are no words to express how I felt upon hearing this. I basically dropped the phone and started running for the car. Every person I tried to call did not answer their phone. I was shaking and screaming out to God for help. I live over an hour and a half from Hartford and wanted to just fly there. I finally reached my parents and in 30 seconds asked them to get to Hartford Hospital ASAP. In the mean time Quinn had actually called Kelly and had spoken with her. He remained awake and talking through the entire event.
I still did not know that she (Kelly) knew and I just started driving to Hartford. When I reached Norfolk I planned on stopping at Quinn's house to try and find Kelly. When I rounded the corner near their home I saw my brother-in-law and sister-in-law pulled over on the side of the road waiting for me. They told me Kelly was in another town and where I could meet her. It was all so very sureal. On the ride to the next town, I repeatedly tried to reach Quinn's dad. I did not know his phone number and numerous attempts with the phone company did not yield much. I recieved a call from my sister telling me that her husband Michael was right behind me on the road and he was going to drive me and Kelly once we reached the next town. No one thought I was fit to drive. I wonder why?
It was absolutely the longest car ride of my life. But here is one of the miracles. Our friend Marie, the one who Quinn met for the first time on Sunday and who told him how handsome he is, well she is a Rieki volunteer at Hartford Hospital and she just happens to work on Tuesdays. Hmmmm!! She also always turns her cell phone off while she is working, but on this day she had it on.
Marie speaking now: Everytime I hear the whirl of the LifeStar Helicopter I pause and pray for the person inside and for their family. I send them love and Rieki energy.
Marie heard Lifestar and paused and did her thing and minutes later she recieved a call from my sister telling her Quinn was on his way to Hartford by LifeStar. Maries answer was that it had just landed. For Marie it was beyond her comprehension to believe that the person she had just prayed for and sent loving energy to was the handsome, glowing man she had met two days before. What an angel she was/is.
I continued on the long drive and now recieved a call from my sister telling me that Marie was there. That LifeStar had landed. That Marie was standing outside the operating room holding the space for Quinn. This still makes be so very emotional and filled with gratitude.
I really had no clue what was going on with Quinn. I knew it was his heart, but had no idea what acutally was wrong. No where in my mind was I thinking heart attack. When I was about 15 minutes from the hospital I was able to speak with a nurse who was with Quinn. She told me he was still in surgery and had just had a stent put in and had had a 100% blockage to his main artery. Holy mother of God! She told me he was doing well and where to go when I got to the hospital.
When I arrived in the Cath Lab I was met by my parents and Marie. Just to finally be there took a weight off my shoulders. I was also in constant contact with my daughter Molly who had just moved to Portland, Maine and she told me that psychically she was with Quinn in the helicopter and was still with him.
God was good to us that day. Quinn was strong and couragous and held on. I am forever grateful for the miracles of that day. For the people that work in the healthfield and saved his life. For the caring nurses and caregivers. For my family. For Quinn.
Quinn is doing well and "on the mend". It will be awhile before he feels the way he did before the heart attack and he may never feel exactly the same. He is forever changed.
Today I want to start sharing the many small miracles that I was a witness to during this event.
Where was I mentally when this all happened? The weekend before his heart attack was Columbus Day weekend. It was absolutely spectacular weather wise here in new england. My sister Patti http://www.pattisinclair.com/ had held a weekend retreat at an amazing home that our two husbands built in 2000-2002 http://www.roughlandfarm.com/. We are married to two brothers!!!!
On Sunday night after the retreat was over, Patti invited many friends and family over to celebrate her oldest childs' sixteenth birthday. Quinn and his girlfriend Kelly came over to help celebrate. He looked fabulous, glowing, smiling and ready to complete the last week of his 22 week course at the police academy. A special friend of my sisters who had been at the retreat stayed to share the festivities. She met Quinn for the first time and although I was not in the room when they met, she told me later she put his face in her hands and told him how handsome he was. She told him how she prayed for him while he was deployed.
Later on that same evening Quinn's girlfriends mother and stepfather and sister also came over to see this spectacular estate. Quinn worked in the building of it doing "slave labor" when he was in highschool and he wanted to share it with them. We all had a fun time sharing the night and the gift of our family and friends together. I was SO content. Really content. Glowing myself.
The next morning, Monday, I went over to the house again to swim in the pool and enjoy the sauna and hot tub. I remember clearly swimming in the pool as the glorious autumn sun gleamed in on me and the leaves outside shown in their amazing brilliant colors. I spoke outloud to my sister that "I have not felt this content and happy in years". For me, I felt that life, just around the corner, was finally going to give me peace. Life does not give you peace. It must always come from within and not from outward circumstances. This is THE message. For my outward world was soon to change dramatically.
On Tuesday morning I was reading e-mails and getting ready for work. I had just recently reunited with an old friend after 33 years. We had been e-mailing back and forth for a few days. That morning I had recieved an email from him telling me much about his life for the past 33 years. I again was content and filled with wonder at how much fun the Universe holds, and then the phone rang. It was 2:14 10/9/07. It was Midstate Memorial Hospital in Meridan Connectictut. The phone showed that it was an "out of area" call and I thought twice about answering it. The phone call was to tell me that they had Quinn with them and he was being transported to Hartford Hospital. I was still quite calm and not fully understanding what was going on. I thought he must have injured himself at the police academy and needed further treatment. It was when I asked them how long the ambulance was going to take to get him from Midstate to Hartford that the reality hit. It was then they told me he was "in the middle of a major cardiac event" and was being taken by LifeStar Helicopter. There are no words to express how I felt upon hearing this. I basically dropped the phone and started running for the car. Every person I tried to call did not answer their phone. I was shaking and screaming out to God for help. I live over an hour and a half from Hartford and wanted to just fly there. I finally reached my parents and in 30 seconds asked them to get to Hartford Hospital ASAP. In the mean time Quinn had actually called Kelly and had spoken with her. He remained awake and talking through the entire event.
I still did not know that she (Kelly) knew and I just started driving to Hartford. When I reached Norfolk I planned on stopping at Quinn's house to try and find Kelly. When I rounded the corner near their home I saw my brother-in-law and sister-in-law pulled over on the side of the road waiting for me. They told me Kelly was in another town and where I could meet her. It was all so very sureal. On the ride to the next town, I repeatedly tried to reach Quinn's dad. I did not know his phone number and numerous attempts with the phone company did not yield much. I recieved a call from my sister telling me that her husband Michael was right behind me on the road and he was going to drive me and Kelly once we reached the next town. No one thought I was fit to drive. I wonder why?
It was absolutely the longest car ride of my life. But here is one of the miracles. Our friend Marie, the one who Quinn met for the first time on Sunday and who told him how handsome he is, well she is a Rieki volunteer at Hartford Hospital and she just happens to work on Tuesdays. Hmmmm!! She also always turns her cell phone off while she is working, but on this day she had it on.
Marie speaking now: Everytime I hear the whirl of the LifeStar Helicopter I pause and pray for the person inside and for their family. I send them love and Rieki energy.
Marie heard Lifestar and paused and did her thing and minutes later she recieved a call from my sister telling her Quinn was on his way to Hartford by LifeStar. Maries answer was that it had just landed. For Marie it was beyond her comprehension to believe that the person she had just prayed for and sent loving energy to was the handsome, glowing man she had met two days before. What an angel she was/is.
I continued on the long drive and now recieved a call from my sister telling me that Marie was there. That LifeStar had landed. That Marie was standing outside the operating room holding the space for Quinn. This still makes be so very emotional and filled with gratitude.
I really had no clue what was going on with Quinn. I knew it was his heart, but had no idea what acutally was wrong. No where in my mind was I thinking heart attack. When I was about 15 minutes from the hospital I was able to speak with a nurse who was with Quinn. She told me he was still in surgery and had just had a stent put in and had had a 100% blockage to his main artery. Holy mother of God! She told me he was doing well and where to go when I got to the hospital.
When I arrived in the Cath Lab I was met by my parents and Marie. Just to finally be there took a weight off my shoulders. I was also in constant contact with my daughter Molly who had just moved to Portland, Maine and she told me that psychically she was with Quinn in the helicopter and was still with him.
God was good to us that day. Quinn was strong and couragous and held on. I am forever grateful for the miracles of that day. For the people that work in the healthfield and saved his life. For the caring nurses and caregivers. For my family. For Quinn.
Monday, October 22, 2007
The heart heals all wounds
Quinn continues to heal and is doing well. He told me yesterday that his energy level is par with before the "heart healing" and the only thing that is bothering him is his stomach. I'm sure that has to do with the medications he is on.
He will graduate from the Connecticut Police Academy tonight and I will cherish it more than anyone can imagine. I will post a photo of him in his uniform as soon as possible.
I have been so grateful for the gift of Surrender. It has helped me in a most profound way. Although I've had some "moments" during the past 2 weeks, I was also able to gather my knowledge and faith and feel confident in a perfect outcome. I look forward to posting many miracles as he continues to heal his heart.
For me....hearts have been everywhere. My morning yogi teas have had messages about the heart for the past few days. Songs on the radio have been about hearts. Of course I am aware that my eyes and ears are open to recieving messages about the heart and I am thankful each time I get one.
I have a new found respect for this amazing organ that sustains the life-blood within us. How amazing it was to watch Quinn's heart on the echocardiagram. Even though it had sustained injury...there is was continuing to beat and beat and beat. The beating heart is truly miraculous.
He will graduate from the Connecticut Police Academy tonight and I will cherish it more than anyone can imagine. I will post a photo of him in his uniform as soon as possible.
I have been so grateful for the gift of Surrender. It has helped me in a most profound way. Although I've had some "moments" during the past 2 weeks, I was also able to gather my knowledge and faith and feel confident in a perfect outcome. I look forward to posting many miracles as he continues to heal his heart.
For me....hearts have been everywhere. My morning yogi teas have had messages about the heart for the past few days. Songs on the radio have been about hearts. Of course I am aware that my eyes and ears are open to recieving messages about the heart and I am thankful each time I get one.
I have a new found respect for this amazing organ that sustains the life-blood within us. How amazing it was to watch Quinn's heart on the echocardiagram. Even though it had sustained injury...there is was continuing to beat and beat and beat. The beating heart is truly miraculous.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Life is Good
All I know for sure is that prayers have been answered and I know more miracles are on the way.
Quinn's life has been saved on many different occasions. He would disregard this (maybe not anymore).
When he was in Afghanistan his 5 man scout team were in the mountains searching for insurgents. They were going up a steep embankment when Quinn fell and hurt his ankle. The team had to proceed down a different path. When they got back to base they found out that another reconnaissance team had found a huge ambush at the top of the mountain (where they were going before he fell). I believe an angel watching over him gave him a little push to save his life and the life of his team.
He also fell 50 feet out of a helicopter. No parachute. Scraped elbow.
Hypothermia in Alaska while training to be a ranger. Went unconscious while hiking in 20 below weather. Taken by ambulance and his core body temp was 92 degrees. That was not a fun phone call either.
Then in Iraq he survived a humvee rollover with only a broken sternum. And now this. I have told him I am placing him behind a white picket fence to live the rest of his life in peace and safety.
Quinn was released from the hospital this afternoon. They still do not know why this happened and we may never know. What they do know is that it was not about his diet, or cholesterol or most of the things you think of when someone has a heart attack. The future looks bright for him. His heart is already returning some of the function and I expect nothing less than a full recovery. He will be on some medications for the rest of his life (he is so young who knows what the future will hold in medicine). He does have a stent in his main artery and he will be on blood thinners (aspirin and plavixs) for the future. Hopefully the strong blood thinner coumadin will be for only a short time.
He has no restrictions on his diet and can walk 1 1/2 miles each day (this week). More next week. I'm sure he will be running in the 5 mile Norfolk Memorial Day race next year God willing. He was a track star in high school running the 4 by 4 and the 400 meter. He is fast.
My own heart could not be more filled with love for this child who has experienced so much, with such grace, in his young life.
Quinn's life has been saved on many different occasions. He would disregard this (maybe not anymore).
When he was in Afghanistan his 5 man scout team were in the mountains searching for insurgents. They were going up a steep embankment when Quinn fell and hurt his ankle. The team had to proceed down a different path. When they got back to base they found out that another reconnaissance team had found a huge ambush at the top of the mountain (where they were going before he fell). I believe an angel watching over him gave him a little push to save his life and the life of his team.
He also fell 50 feet out of a helicopter. No parachute. Scraped elbow.
Hypothermia in Alaska while training to be a ranger. Went unconscious while hiking in 20 below weather. Taken by ambulance and his core body temp was 92 degrees. That was not a fun phone call either.
Then in Iraq he survived a humvee rollover with only a broken sternum. And now this. I have told him I am placing him behind a white picket fence to live the rest of his life in peace and safety.
Quinn was released from the hospital this afternoon. They still do not know why this happened and we may never know. What they do know is that it was not about his diet, or cholesterol or most of the things you think of when someone has a heart attack. The future looks bright for him. His heart is already returning some of the function and I expect nothing less than a full recovery. He will be on some medications for the rest of his life (he is so young who knows what the future will hold in medicine). He does have a stent in his main artery and he will be on blood thinners (aspirin and plavixs) for the future. Hopefully the strong blood thinner coumadin will be for only a short time.
He has no restrictions on his diet and can walk 1 1/2 miles each day (this week). More next week. I'm sure he will be running in the 5 mile Norfolk Memorial Day race next year God willing. He was a track star in high school running the 4 by 4 and the 400 meter. He is fast.
My own heart could not be more filled with love for this child who has experienced so much, with such grace, in his young life.
October 15
My love and thanks to all of you for your prayers for my son Quinn.
I wanted to update you on Quinn and tell you the status of future S.O.S's for now.
Quinn is doing great. He had a massive heart attack whose cause is presently unknown.
He is up and about and waiting for medications to be in the proper amounts before release from the hospital, which may be on Tuesday or Wednesday. The hospital is leaving no stones unturned in trying to find the reason for his MI. I now refer to it as his "healing heart".
It has been a long few days, but his smiles and determination to fight, have proved miraculous. He will be on stage at the graduation from the Connecticut Police Academy next week and no mother will be prouder than I will be on that day.
According to the doctors, he is lucky to be alive. You and I know that luck had nothing to do with it. He is being watched over by angels and the Infinite Source of ALL WELLNESS-God.
I started a blog this summer and will keep an update there in the future and more of the intimate and miraculous events of this journey www.isurrenderthis.blogspot.com
I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. They have lifted me up and held me in the comfort and care of the angels.
Please continue to pray with me as Quinn/and God heal his heart. We are asking for the miraculous and expect nothing less. If you are a healer you can focus on the bottom of his heart and that ALL clots forever more disolve with no injury.
Quinn is healed.
Quinn is pure love.
Quinn is held in the hand of God.
I reflect on the SOS I sent out on Tuesday and it gives me comfort. I stand firm as I Surrender all outcomes into the hand of God.
SOS's may come or they may not. I am not in the most rested state to write and I want to concentrate on Quinn. In the future you may get one on one day and not on the next. I hope you all understand.
You have made this journey easier and I thank each of you.
I am blessed,
Lisa
Oh the joy of Surrender.
The powerful act of letting go leads to a peaceful mind.
With a peace-filled mind we are able to live in the present.
We are able to see the beauty and love that surrounds us.
We are one with the Universal thought process.
And in that Oneness all things are possible such as the HEALING OF A HEART.
Thus the joy.
I wanted to update you on Quinn and tell you the status of future S.O.S's for now.
Quinn is doing great. He had a massive heart attack whose cause is presently unknown.
He is up and about and waiting for medications to be in the proper amounts before release from the hospital, which may be on Tuesday or Wednesday. The hospital is leaving no stones unturned in trying to find the reason for his MI. I now refer to it as his "healing heart".
It has been a long few days, but his smiles and determination to fight, have proved miraculous. He will be on stage at the graduation from the Connecticut Police Academy next week and no mother will be prouder than I will be on that day.
According to the doctors, he is lucky to be alive. You and I know that luck had nothing to do with it. He is being watched over by angels and the Infinite Source of ALL WELLNESS-God.
I started a blog this summer and will keep an update there in the future and more of the intimate and miraculous events of this journey www.isurrenderthis.blogspot.com
I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. They have lifted me up and held me in the comfort and care of the angels.
Please continue to pray with me as Quinn/and God heal his heart. We are asking for the miraculous and expect nothing less. If you are a healer you can focus on the bottom of his heart and that ALL clots forever more disolve with no injury.
Quinn is healed.
Quinn is pure love.
Quinn is held in the hand of God.
I reflect on the SOS I sent out on Tuesday and it gives me comfort. I stand firm as I Surrender all outcomes into the hand of God.
SOS's may come or they may not. I am not in the most rested state to write and I want to concentrate on Quinn. In the future you may get one on one day and not on the next. I hope you all understand.
You have made this journey easier and I thank each of you.
I am blessed,
Lisa
Oh the joy of Surrender.
The powerful act of letting go leads to a peaceful mind.
With a peace-filled mind we are able to live in the present.
We are able to see the beauty and love that surrounds us.
We are one with the Universal thought process.
And in that Oneness all things are possible such as the HEALING OF A HEART.
Thus the joy.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Life is more amazing than ever
On the afternoon of October 9th my 23 year old son had a massive heart attack. He had a blood clot causing 100% blockage to his LAD artery. This is the main artery supplying 40% of the blood to his heart. This type of heart attack is often termed the widow maker because sudden death is often the outcome.
I thank God each moment that this was not the case for my son. He had emergency angioplasty and a stent put into the artery. He is still in the hospital at this point waiting for the proper levels of coumadin to take place.
There have been so many signs from above that show me he will do well and recover. The angels have watched over him in the most incredible way. I thank them all.
I will do more posting soon, but for the next few days I just want to be there to support him in the hospital.
I thank God each moment that this was not the case for my son. He had emergency angioplasty and a stent put into the artery. He is still in the hospital at this point waiting for the proper levels of coumadin to take place.
There have been so many signs from above that show me he will do well and recover. The angels have watched over him in the most incredible way. I thank them all.
I will do more posting soon, but for the next few days I just want to be there to support him in the hospital.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Life continues to amaze me
What a splendid world we live in. I am amazed each day at the beauty and wonder that this world holds. Life is good!! Life is easy! Life brings a smile to my face.
This past weekend I attended my 30 year high school reunion. What a blast we had. We laughed all day and all night just like in our youth. I am still smiling.
I have decided to begin this process again. Would you care to join me? www.isurrenderthis.com
I would love to have a buddy.
This past weekend I attended my 30 year high school reunion. What a blast we had. We laughed all day and all night just like in our youth. I am still smiling.
I have decided to begin this process again. Would you care to join me? www.isurrenderthis.com
I would love to have a buddy.
Monday, September 24, 2007
OK...I Surrender
More giggles and amusement at myself. Darn, life is filled with so much that can lead us upstream and against the current. These past few months have been rather dis-connected for me...I have been dis-located...lost from my source....although still held and cared for.
It is like the old "which comes first, the chicken or the egg?" Has my struggle been because I have been on this path of change? Is is because I am not Surrendered? I am trying too hard? Doing too much? Using my paddles to swim against the current rather than with the current?
Life on Easy Street has taught me much. Easy Street is another form of Surrender....it is that place of ease and little effort...it is truly aligning with Spirit....truly being in the state of Surrender.
Do the leaves 'struggle' to change into their autumn splendor? Does the ocean 'struggle' to make waves? Does the moon 'struggle' in its glorious effort to illumine the night? I don't think so. So why should struggle be such a part of the human experience? I say it does not have to be. We are creating the struggle for no apparent reason other than it has become a way of life. It is an accepted belief by our culture.
Push, push, what are we all pushing for? A better life? More money? What about our life now in this moment. Isn't it a blessing if we sit down and really think about it? Aren't there more things going right in our world than going wrong?
I know I am blessed beyond measure. That is another mantra for me to say daily;
I AM BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE.
I Surrender and allow more and more blessings to fill my life. I go downstream in the flow of Well-Being and Love. I am filled with peace. I am peaceful. I am at ease. Life is easy. I create ease for others. I give love to others.
Won't you join my hand in Surrendering to a life of ease, love and peace for all? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings of peace.
It is like the old "which comes first, the chicken or the egg?" Has my struggle been because I have been on this path of change? Is is because I am not Surrendered? I am trying too hard? Doing too much? Using my paddles to swim against the current rather than with the current?
Life on Easy Street has taught me much. Easy Street is another form of Surrender....it is that place of ease and little effort...it is truly aligning with Spirit....truly being in the state of Surrender.
Do the leaves 'struggle' to change into their autumn splendor? Does the ocean 'struggle' to make waves? Does the moon 'struggle' in its glorious effort to illumine the night? I don't think so. So why should struggle be such a part of the human experience? I say it does not have to be. We are creating the struggle for no apparent reason other than it has become a way of life. It is an accepted belief by our culture.
Push, push, what are we all pushing for? A better life? More money? What about our life now in this moment. Isn't it a blessing if we sit down and really think about it? Aren't there more things going right in our world than going wrong?
I know I am blessed beyond measure. That is another mantra for me to say daily;
I AM BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE.
I Surrender and allow more and more blessings to fill my life. I go downstream in the flow of Well-Being and Love. I am filled with peace. I am peaceful. I am at ease. Life is easy. I create ease for others. I give love to others.
Won't you join my hand in Surrendering to a life of ease, love and peace for all? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings of peace.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Back on track
Life is such a rewarding and precious experience. I have been away on a much needed vacation and feel refreshed and filled with life and promise.
This summer moved at record speed for me....and soared into the beauty of a New England autumn. I love this time of year.
Soon after writing my post from Sept 8, I had a small revelation which is evident in my daily Seeds Of Surrender inspirational e-mails. I decided to mentally change my living address and moved to Easy Street, USA. I also Surrendered all thoughts that did not correspond with living at this new address. It has been fun. I had to laugh when I read the Sept 8 post because I talk of the struggle of life. My, how thoughts can change our experience. This my inspirational SOS from this past Tuesday 9/18:
The other day I was talking with my daughter and two of her friends. In the course of the conversation one of them mentioned that struggle was something she felt was noble or valid. When I heard this, my motherly antennae went up and I quickly said something to the effect that stuggle was not something you needed to choose in life. This led to a long conversation with me doing my best to teach these young women to mentally let go of struggle and instead choose Easy Street.
We had a wonderful conversation and in the end the girls all agreed that to choose struggle was not something they wanted anymore.
The very next day, I drove up behind a car and a sticker on its bumper summed my thoughts completely.
Change is inevitable; Struggle is an option.
Go back and read the September 8th post and see just how beautifully the Universe answered my plea of struggle.
Since moving to Easy Street I bought a new car (which I LOVE). My son has happily moved into a new home and my daughter has moved to Portland, Maine. These are all wonderful events for me and my family.
I have located myself again. Ahhhhhhh there I am.
Sending you all love and I will continue with the 60 days (hey...in reality every day is a learning day) tomorrow.
This summer moved at record speed for me....and soared into the beauty of a New England autumn. I love this time of year.
Soon after writing my post from Sept 8, I had a small revelation which is evident in my daily Seeds Of Surrender inspirational e-mails. I decided to mentally change my living address and moved to Easy Street, USA. I also Surrendered all thoughts that did not correspond with living at this new address. It has been fun. I had to laugh when I read the Sept 8 post because I talk of the struggle of life. My, how thoughts can change our experience. This my inspirational SOS from this past Tuesday 9/18:
The other day I was talking with my daughter and two of her friends. In the course of the conversation one of them mentioned that struggle was something she felt was noble or valid. When I heard this, my motherly antennae went up and I quickly said something to the effect that stuggle was not something you needed to choose in life. This led to a long conversation with me doing my best to teach these young women to mentally let go of struggle and instead choose Easy Street.
We had a wonderful conversation and in the end the girls all agreed that to choose struggle was not something they wanted anymore.
The very next day, I drove up behind a car and a sticker on its bumper summed my thoughts completely.
Change is inevitable; Struggle is an option.
Go back and read the September 8th post and see just how beautifully the Universe answered my plea of struggle.
Since moving to Easy Street I bought a new car (which I LOVE). My son has happily moved into a new home and my daughter has moved to Portland, Maine. These are all wonderful events for me and my family.
I have located myself again. Ahhhhhhh there I am.
Sending you all love and I will continue with the 60 days (hey...in reality every day is a learning day) tomorrow.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Dislocated
As I sit back and reflect on the past couple of months and working through this process, it feels as though it has been a huge struggle. I am in this place of resistance that feels like a mountain I can't quite get up. (Not what you would like to hear from someone who is supposed to get this stuff. ) And I DO get it....just struggling with integrating it into my thinking.
The other night I stubbed my toe and dislocated it. Ouch!!!! That along with my puppy dislocating his eye (cuz of me) has really made me sit and look at what I am doing. When I think of the word 'dislocate' it is exactly how I feel. So for the present moments I am locating my true self and doing my best to stay within the moment of now.
My 60 day plan is going to be more like a 120 days. :) It is OK. Whatever it takes to work through this and come out the other side...fully located into my life again.
The other night I stubbed my toe and dislocated it. Ouch!!!! That along with my puppy dislocating his eye (cuz of me) has really made me sit and look at what I am doing. When I think of the word 'dislocate' it is exactly how I feel. So for the present moments I am locating my true self and doing my best to stay within the moment of now.
My 60 day plan is going to be more like a 120 days. :) It is OK. Whatever it takes to work through this and come out the other side...fully located into my life again.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Intentions for a peacful
"I intend for my life to be peaceful and serene."
1) I would actively choose to have people in my life that also believed this way.
a) I will review each of the people that are close to me and see if they are hurting my progress in any way. If so, I will gently release them from my life. (Obviously this is easier said than done, but, understanding that you have toxic people in your life is a BIG step to getting better. Some people such as family, spouse, etc. are not people you can just dismiss. But what you can do is put your foot down to the toxic behavior they are creating and tell them you will no longer participate in it.)
2) I would choose a place of employment that nurtures my peaceful spirit.
a) I will take a good long look at my place of employment. I will look to see if it is nurturing my Spirit. If it is not I will see if there is a way to stay at this job and find peace or I will begin to look for new employment. I will give myself 6 months to seek a better place for my Spirit.
3) I would choose a home, music, and colors in my life that I viewed as peaceful.
a) I will go buy one new CD that moves my Spirit into the most peaceful place.
4) I would learn to meditate and go inward so that even in times of crisis and stress I would be able to find a place of peace within myself.
a) I will begin to take 5 minutes each day and start meditating. I will do this everyday so when I have stress, I will have a place I can go to that will bring me peace.
1) I would actively choose to have people in my life that also believed this way.
a) I will review each of the people that are close to me and see if they are hurting my progress in any way. If so, I will gently release them from my life. (Obviously this is easier said than done, but, understanding that you have toxic people in your life is a BIG step to getting better. Some people such as family, spouse, etc. are not people you can just dismiss. But what you can do is put your foot down to the toxic behavior they are creating and tell them you will no longer participate in it.)
2) I would choose a place of employment that nurtures my peaceful spirit.
a) I will take a good long look at my place of employment. I will look to see if it is nurturing my Spirit. If it is not I will see if there is a way to stay at this job and find peace or I will begin to look for new employment. I will give myself 6 months to seek a better place for my Spirit.
3) I would choose a home, music, and colors in my life that I viewed as peaceful.
a) I will go buy one new CD that moves my Spirit into the most peaceful place.
4) I would learn to meditate and go inward so that even in times of crisis and stress I would be able to find a place of peace within myself.
a) I will begin to take 5 minutes each day and start meditating. I will do this everyday so when I have stress, I will have a place I can go to that will bring me peace.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Take Action with Intention
Define 10 action steps you can make within the next six months to help you achieve your goals. If there are no concrete action steps you can take then you can: Surrender your fears.
My intention is for this circumstance to be held in the palm of Gods hand for care and keeping.
My intention is to live day by day knowing that all is well.
My intention is to let go of all fear the minute I feel it.
My intention is to hold peaceful and loving thoughts devoid of all fear.
My intention is to hold firm to the beliefs and thoughts that are of God.
When I use the word intention, it can feel as though intention happens only in the future. But intention happens now. Intention is a now thing. It is a form of putting your foot down to the Universe and saying, "Darn it, this is going to happen and this is what I am going to do to help it happen".
www.isurrenderthis.com
My intention is for this circumstance to be held in the palm of Gods hand for care and keeping.
My intention is to live day by day knowing that all is well.
My intention is to let go of all fear the minute I feel it.
My intention is to hold peaceful and loving thoughts devoid of all fear.
My intention is to hold firm to the beliefs and thoughts that are of God.
When I use the word intention, it can feel as though intention happens only in the future. But intention happens now. Intention is a now thing. It is a form of putting your foot down to the Universe and saying, "Darn it, this is going to happen and this is what I am going to do to help it happen".
www.isurrenderthis.com
Friday, August 31, 2007
Intention for the best
Let us now begin to focus on intention. Intention for me is the physical, mental and emotional action that we put behind our thoughts and beliefs. What does the dictionary give as the definition of intention?
Something that somebody plans to do or achieve.
The key word in this definintion is plans. Planning is a verb. It could read: Something that somebody does in the form of action to achieve something they desire.
Intention also is the power and force which created the Universe. Intention is co-creating with God. God does Its part...you do yours. Everything in life requires some sort of action. Our action can be a conscious choice to NOT TAKE ACTION, but in doing this we are still intending something.
So, what are your intentions for achieving your goals, having your dreams come true and living a life without fear? Sometimes the intention is just a conscious intention to Surrender or let go. It requires nothing else but for the Universe to hear that we are ready to put our fears completely into Gods hands. This is what I did when my son went to war. There was no action I could take except to let go within my own thoughts.
Other times we must take physical and emotional action. "I Surrender This" would never have come to fruition without active work on my part. My intention was to create this and so I had to buy clay and sculpt the hand. I had to find organic material for the flag. I had to write the book....and on and on. I could not have just stood back and said.."OK, I have this great idea that I intend for the Universe and I am just going to stand back and through thoughts and beliefs manifest it". Guess what? It would not have happened. Not yet anyway!
Depending on the issue at hand, your intention will require different things from you.
Let's take an example that requires action:
"I intend for my life to be peaceful and serene."
1) I would actively choose to have people in my life that also believed this way.
2) I would choose a place of employment that nutured my peaceful spirit.
3) I would choose a home, music, and colors in my life that I viewed as peaceful.
4) I would learn to meditate and go inward so that even in times of crisis and stress I would be able to find a place of peace within myself.
Here is an example where the only action I can take is to Surrender.
"I intend for my son to come home safely from Iraq."
1) I can pray for him.
2) I can ask the angels and God to be with him and protect him.
3) I can visualize him coming home safe and whole.
4) I can believe and trust that he will come home safely.
Do you see the difference between the two desires/intentions? For today I want you to think about your life and the issue you have chosen to work on. Is there action you can take to help you achieve it or is it something you just must put into the loving care of God?
Something that somebody plans to do or achieve.
The key word in this definintion is plans. Planning is a verb. It could read: Something that somebody does in the form of action to achieve something they desire.
Intention also is the power and force which created the Universe. Intention is co-creating with God. God does Its part...you do yours. Everything in life requires some sort of action. Our action can be a conscious choice to NOT TAKE ACTION, but in doing this we are still intending something.
So, what are your intentions for achieving your goals, having your dreams come true and living a life without fear? Sometimes the intention is just a conscious intention to Surrender or let go. It requires nothing else but for the Universe to hear that we are ready to put our fears completely into Gods hands. This is what I did when my son went to war. There was no action I could take except to let go within my own thoughts.
Other times we must take physical and emotional action. "I Surrender This" would never have come to fruition without active work on my part. My intention was to create this and so I had to buy clay and sculpt the hand. I had to find organic material for the flag. I had to write the book....and on and on. I could not have just stood back and said.."OK, I have this great idea that I intend for the Universe and I am just going to stand back and through thoughts and beliefs manifest it". Guess what? It would not have happened. Not yet anyway!
Depending on the issue at hand, your intention will require different things from you.
Let's take an example that requires action:
"I intend for my life to be peaceful and serene."
1) I would actively choose to have people in my life that also believed this way.
2) I would choose a place of employment that nutured my peaceful spirit.
3) I would choose a home, music, and colors in my life that I viewed as peaceful.
4) I would learn to meditate and go inward so that even in times of crisis and stress I would be able to find a place of peace within myself.
Here is an example where the only action I can take is to Surrender.
"I intend for my son to come home safely from Iraq."
1) I can pray for him.
2) I can ask the angels and God to be with him and protect him.
3) I can visualize him coming home safe and whole.
4) I can believe and trust that he will come home safely.
Do you see the difference between the two desires/intentions? For today I want you to think about your life and the issue you have chosen to work on. Is there action you can take to help you achieve it or is it something you just must put into the loving care of God?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Letting go of the past
I am doing my best to get back on track. Yesterday I woke up feeling sad. I spent the morning wondering where it came from. Why was I sad? I have no reason that I can think of for this feeling. In pondering the why's I realized that this time of year...in the past...has seen many good-byes. It is more than just an end of summer. For many of my recent years it has been a time of heart felt good-byes.
19 years ago this September, my husband (he was just a new love at that point) went away on a 7 month journey around the world. I cried for days, weeks, months, wondering if this new love could survive this long time apart. It has.
My daughter heading off to college.
My son starting boot camp.
My son going to Afghanistan.
My son going to Iraq.
None of these may seem like big things to others...I certainly respect that, but for me, who has had abandonment issues her whole life, these were big good-byes.
So yesterday, this realization of what was bothering me, gave me a new outlook on the day. I was able to let go of these good-byes. They are not my reality this year.
All is well.
19 years ago this September, my husband (he was just a new love at that point) went away on a 7 month journey around the world. I cried for days, weeks, months, wondering if this new love could survive this long time apart. It has.
My daughter heading off to college.
My son starting boot camp.
My son going to Afghanistan.
My son going to Iraq.
None of these may seem like big things to others...I certainly respect that, but for me, who has had abandonment issues her whole life, these were big good-byes.
So yesterday, this realization of what was bothering me, gave me a new outlook on the day. I was able to let go of these good-byes. They are not my reality this year.
All is well.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Surrender hits a wall
I must be honest...even the Surrender queen can get muddled up with life events.
Life has been somewhat overwhelming for me lately...can't really put my finger on why, but I am working on letting it all go. Maybe it is the accumulated effort of the work I have been doing toward Surrender....I am being asked to Surrender in a big way. JUST LET IT ALL GO!!!!!
I Surrender This....everything that does not hold the love of God within it.
I am very far behind on my postings. The rhythm of my life needs some adjusting.
We have another new puppy, her name is Dalai, and I feel somewhat like the mother of 1 year old twins. I always have to keep my eye on them. Sweet Pabu had the stitches out from his eye yesterday and it appears that he can see. I am VERY, VERY thankful.
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