Thursday, May 01, 2008

Day 1 2008

Since I wrote this course, I have done this many times...I still have all of the days worth of lessons from a couple of years ago and it is amazing to see how the Universe has helped and changed each of my fears. When I first wrote the course, my son was serving in Afghansitan and money was a huge issue. The second time I did it, he was in Iraq and we had moved and money was flowing. I did it again last summer and it was a whirlwind of change. Whew it was one heck of a ride.

Soon after finishing it and going through some real trying times, I came to a place of bliss. Amazing peace and bliss. The next day, my 23 year old son (the same son) had a massive heart attack.

The Surrendering I have done in the past 7 months has been amazing. I am blessed to be able to let God handle my life. I trust the Infinite. I continue to be a work in progress.

So...starting again.

1) Fears.
Still human. Still have fears come up.

AND THE THEME IS (drum roll)...HELLO?

OK, so I need to rethink this. I was about to write something and realize that it is not really a fear. I am over it for the most part. I don't even want to put it in is a hint. When your healthy 23 year old son has a heart attack that still has no known cause, it can rock your world. It sets you wondering how something so unexpected can happen to a healthy person. Your mind (that loud voice of negativity) says, "What makes you think it could not happen again?". ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgrrrrrrrrrr. I really dislike the voice.

But when I sit down and really go over the journey of this child, it is beyond amazing to know how protected and cared for he has been, despite all he has been through. And this has become my focus rather than the fear of losing him.

I HAVE healed much of my fear. Circumstances have allowed me to really meet this fear straight on in the face. I am blessed. What a journey it has been.

So back to square one.

I guess a fear I have or something that challenges me and I would like to retire to God's hand is my feelings of not stepping out and being all I can be. My fear of rejection or being disliked for putting my thoughts and feelings out in the world.

I would like to touch people with the message of my journey, and fear I will step in my own way of achieving this.

I am here to help and I say this loud and clear so anyone listening will ask.

This is my voice, these are my intentions, my desires, my will. I ask that I align myself with Source to allow them to materialize in this world.

I Surrender This...

No comments: